Back home, my friends called me an Oreo (Black on the outside, White on the inside) because I had 'interesting' taste and a 'foreign take' on life, which had a lot of people assuming I'm stuck up or unapproachable simply because they couldn't relate to me. Then I moved to New York and I was the African girl; no longer an Oreo.
Basically I was the 'fake' black girl back home and an original African woman here - talk about confusion.
I've had a hard time really getting to know myself enough to love myself because it seemed wherever I was, I had to conform or change to fit in - trust me it's a very exhausting way to live.
Every year for the past two years my parents bless me with the opportunity to attend the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit in Chicago (that's bonding time with my parents btw haha). My first summit in August 2016, a speaker talked about intentional living, and it stuck with me.
Basically, CHOOSE to do what you do everyday and be CONSCIOUS and INTENTIONAL about it. It got me thinking, if I could be intentional about the way I see myself, I could possibly care less about the description bubble people have placed me in. So I listed all the things I was 100% sure of about myself, my values, aspirations, likes and dislikes, and picked the ones I wanted to stick with for myself - because I enjoyed them or knew they would benefit me in the long run. For example I decided I love grey hair (grey braids, weaves, etc.) so I stick with that because it makes me happy to see myself in grey hair, even though a number of people in my life find it outrageous or silly :P I don't wake up in the morning wishing I had the look I wanted, I HAVE THE DAMN LOOK so I rock it in confidence and joy - you get my drift?
I say all the time that the best thing God blessed me with aside Salvation is my family. My parents and siblings have watched and guided me through all my weird decisions, which has inevitably helped me choose for myself what I want and how I want to live my life.
Choose for yourself - where you want to be, what you want to do, what you want to achieve, and go get it! Don't focus on people's opinions of who you are...honestly, they will change their minds when you stick to your true self (ridiculous but true). If I had focused on that, I wouldn't be in NY working to be an outstanding Fashion Designer, I'd literally be back home living off my parents (LMAO as if haha!)
You have a responsibility to God and Yourself to DO BETTER, because you know you can...Remember: "YOU'RE THE SHIT"